I am not a radical person. One thing I always hated is when people say things like “You shouldn’t give your mother a present on mother’s day because mother’s day should be everyday”. I appreciate the fact that I have a mother, everyday, but I think it’s nice to give her a gift or a card when it’s mother’s day. “It’s a date created by capitalism so people can buy more!” I love buying, I don’t care, I still think my mother gets happy when I take my time to buy her a gift.
What I wanted to say is that I appreciate the fact people try to sell flowers on women’s day. It’s nice to remember we are the ones who will give birth to precious little babies and everything (but men are just as responsible for it, in case you forgot). But March 8th is not a date created by capitalism, is not a date to commemorate how women are nice and good and the many things they accomplished. In fact, is exactly the opposite.
Proclaimed official in 1977, by the United Nations, the date try to keep the memory of all the battles and struggles women suffer daily for their rights. When you give a rose to a woman, you may think you are being gentle, but in fact you are just helping today’s society to keep the idea that a woman has a certain place. A place within a family, as a loving mother, pure, pretty (and this, too, includes mostly being skinny) and nice. Would you give a flower to a woman you consider “a whore”? Probably not, as I guess, because she is not a woman who deserves to be remembered or not a nice example to all the other women.
Because women who like to show themselves or who like sex are “treated as sexual objects by men”. Because a real woman wouldn’t be like this. Let me tell you one thing about real women: every single one of them are real. The girl who likes to wear long skirts and wants to keep a virgin until marriage, the girl who wears shorts and loves to be around with every single boy she thinks is pretty, the gay, the straight, the ones who were born in a man’s body but are a woman in gender. They are as real as the next one, because they are women! And by giving a flower or a compliment to the ones you think that are respectful, you reinforce the idea that the other ones are… bitches.
Well, now that I think about it and think about Joreen and The BITCH Manifesto, I kinda like the idea of being designed as a bitch.
Bitches refuse to serve, honor or obey anyone. They demand to be fully functioning human beings, not just shadows. They want to be both female and human. This makes them social contradictions. The mere existence of Bitches negates the idea that a woman’s reality must come thru her relationship to a man and defies the belief that women are perpetual children who must always be under the guidance of another.
Therefore, if taken seriously, a Bitch is a threat to the social structures which enslave women and the social values which justify keeping them in their place. She is living testimony that woman’s oppression does not have to be, and as such raises doubts about the validity of the whole social system. Because she is a threat she is not taken seriously. Instead, she is dismissed as a deviant. Men create a special category for her in which she is accounted at least partially human, but not really a woman.
I think this is a very important subject and directly related to the lingerie industry. People from the lingerie industry work with the most intimate parts of a female, and not only physically, but emotionally. We grow up learning that is not ok to show our “parts” in public, even though it’s ok for the rest of the humans who are not females. So most of us end up as adults who are afraid to use revealing, erotic or kinky undergarments because with them we are designated as whores on the inside.
Myself, as a newbie, have all my objetives directed to make women feel good about what they have underneath and, with that, being able to wear what they want under her clothes – not what
men society thinks it’s ok for her to wear.
I don’t wanna get too deep, I don’t wanna write an enormous text because I’m sure that lots of intelligent women are going to do this, as well, but I couldn’t sleep tonight if I didn’t feel like I was doing my part. This week I heard things from friends like “well, if they don’t have some good sense when dressing, they are the ones to blame if I think they work as hookers” or one I heard right now “you should celebrate women’s day dancing a lot with tons of tequila”. No, thanks. I’ll be wearing my favorite lingerie and some nice clothes to celebrate the love. Self-love.
Well, since I started the post with that statement about not wanting flowers, I must add it: I want lingerie. I told so, I don’t mind getting gifts if they represent what should be represented. Whatever, I want lingerie everyday and everytime, so it’s no big surprise I want one today. And I’m sure this High-Waisted thong by Kiki de Montparnasse represents strenght. (And I love it so much!)